It's highly likely if you're reading this, you know what to do. You could write the plan out right now, but you still haven't actioned it.
You have probably decided the answer is more discipline. This article gives you a different way to look at it, and something you can do about it in the next ten minutes.
Look at what you are actually avoiding
Take the thing you keep putting off. Whether it's sending the proposal, posting the reel, raising your price, or having a conversation.
None of those are hard to do, as we both know an email takes two minutes to send. So the difficulty is coming from somewhere else, what doing it would mean.
That meaning is different for everyone, which is why generic productivity advice only gets you so far.
Where the belief really comes from
Ask yourself this…
What do I believe about myself that is holding me back?
You probably have an answer ready. "I'm not good enough to charge that." "People like me don't get that far." "If I put myself out there, I'll be found out."
Now ask a second one: roughly when did that start?
That is where it gets interesting, because the answer is almost never about the business. It is a classroom, a parent, a first boss, a relationship. The belief was formed years before there was anything to sell, and it has been quietly making decisions ever since.
Four patterns behind "I'll do it tomorrow"
These are the ones I come across again and again.
1. Being seen.
What it looks like: drafts that never get posted, a website that is never quite ready, saying no to the podcast or the stage.
What sits underneath: a belief that being visible is not safe. It often goes back to a time you stood out and were criticised or laughed at for it. Being invisible feels safer, even though it is costing you far more.
2. Failing.
What it looks like: over-preparing, researching, perfecting, starting again. Overthinking belongs here too. It feels productive, and it is usually avoidance.
What sits underneath: if it never launches, it can never fail. The preparation feels like work, so you do not notice it is protection.
3. Succeeding.
What it looks like: stalling just as things start going well. Missing the deadline, going quiet after a big win, picking the wrong moment to change everything.
What sits underneath: success would change something you are not sure you want changed. Who you are, who you spend time with, what people expect from you. For some people, things going well is the very thing that feels unsafe.
This one was mine. I spent years and over thirty thousand pounds on coaches, courses and books, and every time I got close to something significant, I pulled back. When I finally did the work on myself, I found the fear underneath it: that achieving everything I wanted would mean my Mum was not here to see it. It felt safer to never get there than to get there without her.
Sometimes holding back is a way of staying connected to a person, or to where you came from.
4. Worth.
What it looks like: undercharging, discounting before anyone asks, over-delivering to make up for the price. Struggling to accept a compliment or a win without looking for what is wrong with it.
What sits underneath: a belief about what you deserve, decided long before you had a business.
A ten minute exercise to find yours
You need a pen, paper and somewhere quiet.
- Write the one thing you keep putting off at the top of the page. Be specific. "Post the video I recorded on Monday" is better than "do more content".
- Finish this sentence ten times, fast, without editing: "If I actually did this, then..." The first few answers will be sensible. Keep going. The ones that matter tend to turn up near the end.
- Circle the answer you feel in your body. A tightness, a drop in your stomach, an urge to cross it out. That is the one.
- Ask yourself: "When is the first time I remember feeling this?" Do not analyse it. Take the first memory that comes, even if it seems unrelated.
- Ask: "What did I decide about myself that day?" Write it as one sentence. That sentence is the belief that has been running underneath.
If something heavy comes up when you do this, stop, and speak to someone you trust or a qualified professional.
The speed is deliberate. When you answer slowly, you check each answer before it reaches the page. Is it reasonable? Does it make me look bad? That checking quietly removes anything uncomfortable, which is usually the thing you were looking for.
Your first few answers will be the ones you have already rehearsed: "I'd have less time", "it might not work". You have to get through those first.
Somewhere around the sixth or seventh, you run out of sensible things to say and you still have to write something. What comes out then is less polished, and it tends to be closer to the truth.
That is why the exercise asks for ten.
What seeing it does, and what it does not do
Seeing the pattern clearly matters. It is the first phase of how I work, and for something small it can be enough on its own. You notice it, and it loses its grip.
For a pattern that has been running for years, understanding it rarely shifts it. You can know exactly why you do something and keep doing it, because the belief is not held in the part of you that does the understanding. A client of mine, Stephen, described it well:
“Within twenty minutes of working with Derek, we uncovered something I'd never spoken to anyone about, not once, in twenty years. I knew exactly what I needed to do in my business, I just couldn't explain why I wasn't doing it. But it's ridiculous to me, how quickly that came up.”
I have written about what happens after that point in Why understanding your problem doesn't fix it.
It will not stay in the business
Whichever pattern is yours, look for it outside work too. The belief that makes you undercharge is rarely only about money. The one that keeps you from being seen tends to show up in your relationships as well.
Your external reality is a direct reflection of your internal state.
If you want a quicker read on where it is showing up for you, the Identity Gap Finder takes about three minutes.